Awake

💛 Emotional Connection

X – Do I feel safe expressing my true thoughts and feelings to them?
X – Do I feel respected, even when we disagree?
X – Do they listen without dismissing, interrupting, or judging?
X – Do they apologize and take responsibility when they’re wrong?

🧭 Life Values & Direction

X – Do we share similar values (honesty, family, money, spirituality)?
X – Are our life goals aligned (career, location, kids, lifestyle)?
X – Would I be okay living their version of life for the next 20 years?

⚖️ Balance & Effort

X – Is effort equal — emotionally, mentally, financially, or practically?
X – Do they show up for me consistently, not just when they need something?
X?? – Do I feel like I’m growing, not shrinking, in this relationship?

🧠 Mental & Emotional Health

X – Do they respect my boundaries, moods, and needs?
Yes – Do I feel more anxious or confused, or more calm and secure around them?
anxious or confused
Yes toxic cycles – Are emotional ups and downs normal relationship growth, or toxic cycles?

🧪 Trust & Transparency

X – Can I trust them fully — with secrets, passwords, money, and emotions?
Yes – Have they lied, cheated, or hidden important things from me?
Not cheated but lied, or hidden important things from me
X – Do they help me heal my wounds, or do they create new ones?

🔥 Love & Chemistry

X – Do I feel genuine affection, or am I just used to them?
X – Do I still feel excited or connected — or mostly bored and drained?
X – Is there still romantic, emotional, and physical chemistry?

🪞 Self-Reflection

X – Am I staying out of fear (loneliness, family, timing) or from freedom and love?
X – If this were my friend’s relationship — what advice would I give them?
X – Does my future feel more beautiful with them, or more limited?

What a Low Score Like 4 Means:

You’re likely not feeling emotionally safe, seen, or supported.
You may be sacrificing your own needs, dreams, or peace.
The relationship may be held together by fear, guilt, pressure, or habit — not mutual joy and trust.
You could be experiencing emotional exhaustion, not emotional growth.
You may feel more confused or anxious than calm and secure.

✅ Signs You’re Growing:

You feel more confident in yourself, not constantly doubting.
You’re encouraged to follow your dreams, goals, and passions.
You’re learning to communicate better, manage emotions, and handle life with more maturity.
You’re becoming emotionally stronger — not always overwhelmed or anxious.
You feel respected as a whole person (not just a role: girlfriend, wife, etc.).
You’re learning new things — about yourself, about love, and about life.
Your boundaries are honored, and you’re learning to express them better.

📌 Example: If you once struggled with low confidence, but now you’re more assertive, expressive, and secure — that’s growth.

❌ Signs You’re Shrinking:

You’re always trying to be smaller to avoid conflict.
You feel like you can’t be yourself, or have to hide parts of you.
Your voice, goals, or dreams feel less important in the relationship.
You’re walking on eggshells, afraid of their reactions.
You’re losing touch with your hobbies, friendships, or identity.
Your mental health is worsening, not improving.

📌 Example: If you loved painting, reading, or dancing — but now avoid them because “he/she doesn’t like it” — that’s shrinking.

💬 Ask Yourself This in Quiet Honesty:
When you think about staying in this relationship…

Do you feel:
Yes – Afraid of being alone, like there’s no one else who will understand or love you?
Yes – Worried about the pain or discomfort of starting over — dating again, explaining to people, rebuilding?
Yes – Anxious about disappointing family, friends, or even your partner?
Yes – Telling yourself: “I’ve already invested so much time… I can’t leave now”?
Yes – Afraid of the emotional explosion that might come if you speak your truth?